We're not going to lie to you, these conversations are not going to be easy, especially if you're still living with your parents and/or are financially dependent on them. Is My Girlfriend Pregnant. Research shows that a small but significant percentage of custodial parents have informal agreements not involving court orders. I think your best move right now is to speak with a professional. I don't want to take responsibility. " Wait, is that what I want?
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Remember, she is making a decision that will impact your life too. He felt that we would never cope with another baby and that our family was already complete. I refused to let his bad attitude push me into a termination though. How do they pay for medical care? When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, we know it may seem like an impossible feat, but there are many different resources and financial aid options that make parenting a viable option for both of you. Or am I just a responsibility-shirking c*nt like some of the people I've confided in seem to think? My Girlfriend Wants an Abortion. If now isn't the best time for marriage, what might a co-parenting or custody arrangement look like? When you're feeling up to it, I'd like to talk about what's going on with me. Letting her feel her emotions will help her work through them and start to heal. Your girlfriend or partner might be pregnant? You have as much right as the expectant mother to ask for help and guidance when deciding how to approach the pregnancy. In these cases, it's a good idea to meet with a counselor or an expert on the matter. Whether you choose adoption or parenting, these 9 months are going to bring a lot of changes.
Say something simple and gentle, like, "Do you want me to stay with you for a while, or do you want some alone time? If I was going to have a termination, it should have been for me and my reasons, not his selfish ones. If you're reading this and you haven't, you might want to put it on your list. ) As you talk, this shouldn't be a one-time conversation. While it may seem like the easy way out, you should consider the long-term consequences. Leave all your cards on the table. Be clear and honest about your opinion and feelings, but make sure that you're not imposing it on her or making her feel like you don't support her arriving at her own decision. Abandon the mother and child –. An unbiased third party can really help you both work out your feelings and express them better. Hundreds of thoughts are flooding your mind right now, and you may find it difficult to think about much else. Symptoms of depression can include:[8] X Research source Go to source. I don't want my girlfriend to have an abortion now. For more information on medical abortion procedures and aftercare, see References. Openly communicating with her about how you feel can help keep your relationship healthy, and help both of you start to heal.
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It's normal not to have the same reaction as your girlfriend, so don't worry if this is the case. You should also begin to talk about your concerns and how you think the pregnancy will impact each of you. Programs like Medicaid (for pregnancy & infants), Women Infants and Children (WIC), Food Stamps, Temporary [Financial] Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), and more. I don't want my girlfriend to have an abortion today. She has other reasons too like she wants everything to be perfect first, i. e, a house, more financially secure ect. It is, of course, easier to find a choice you both agree on if you have similar morals to which you hold (which is important for a relationship in general! If you and your girlfriend do not plan to continue the relationship, or if tensions are high, figure out ways that you can support and help her from a distance. While most women discuss an abortion with their partners, those who don't were much more likely to be in abusive relationships, according to the Court. All I feel is resentment.
You both did something to cause this pregnancy, and so it is best to own up and not try to blame anyone but yourselves. If you are the one that doesn't want to talk about the abortion, but your partner does, your feelings are valid. We are happy and are excited to see what the future brings. I don't want my girlfriend to have an abortion legally. Your girlfriend might not be comfortable with you talking to others about something very personal. If you just aren't able to care for a child, sometimes placing your baby in temporary care while you get it together is the best option.
I Don't Want My Girlfriend To Have An Abortion Now
Any help convincing her? Pretty much straight away said in not so many words she doesn't want it. One key thing you can do in this situation is initiate conversations with your girlfriend. Open Adoption: Each of you will know to identify information about the other. Our experienced advocates can equip you with the tools and practical resources you need to support yourself and your girlfriend. Are you prepared for her to raise your child on her own? Ask her to listen to you. It is important to remember that if you decide you do not want to be involved, but she decides to parent the baby, you will likely be required to pay child support. Helping your girlfriend after an abortion can be difficult for both of you, especially as it brings up complicated emotions that you might not know how to handle. This is bound to happen for some couples and seems to be more likely if (1) the relationship is fairly new, (2) one of you desires to have kids one day and the other adamantly does not, and/or (3) you have different moral beliefs about parenting, adoption, or abortion (i. e. Is it still legal for me to get an abortion. one of you thinks adoption is "weird, " or one of you is pro-life and the other is pro-choice). This is the type of thinking and consideration that must go into a decision.
However, they both really desire to continue their relationship and see a future with each other. We also offer free ultrasounds for the next step, which is to confirm the pregnancy is viable, as many early pregnancies can end in a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. You might feel like you need to talk to someone who knows more about the process of pregnancy and what parenting would look like. More than likely, your partner has many of the same concerns that you do. If you decide you don't want to keep the baby but she does, what will that mean for your relationship? You will never get a second chance. The first thing you need to do is make sure you have all the information you can. This might mean date nights are cut short or that you see her less often because she needs to rest. Get Legal Help with Your Questions About Fathers' Rights and Abortion. Contact a Legacy options counselor today by phone, chat, or email to begin the discussion.
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Well, fast forward 3 months, we find out she's pregnant. Where do you plan to get the abortion performed? This might sound harsh, but this is not about them. Confirm the Pregnancy is Real/Viable.
You have time to consider all your options. Your partner will support your decision if he's a good guy. Unplanned pregnancy. Those two little words turn your world upside down. I know it's up to her at the end of the day so if the worst does happen. A five paragraph email isn't the best way to judge a person, but you seem to be intelligent and open minded, qualities which would serve you well as a dad. Be physically present with your girlfriend before, during, and after the procedure. Slow down and take a deep breath. I just don't know what to do. But then you begin to feel lost. Keep reading for our tips and advice, and then give Pregnancy & Fatherhood Solutions a call today at (915) 249-1344 or visit us online to schedule a free appointment for you and your partner to come and discuss your options. As you process all your options, sometimes it's helpful to sit down with someone who isn't involved to talk about how you're feeling and what option is best for you. Talk to your parents, hers, or other parents in your life that you trust for advice, the hardest parts and the most rewarding parts of parenting. What are you supposed to say or do if she is planning on having an abortion?
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My boyfriend left me after convincing to have an abortion. Often when someone has difficulty tackling hard conversations, they may inadvertently make light of the situation with jokes or avoid talking about it, but that doesn't necessarily mean they don't have feelings. Before any decisions are made, be sure you have done as much research as possible. Avail NYC exists to be a safe haven for women and men facing an unexpected pregnancy or seeking support after an abortion. He instantly became 'Daddy' and now he can't imagine life without our son. This may mean you have to pick up a part-time job or adjust your school schedule. Am I willing to make an adoption plan for my child?
Let her talk through anything she needs to. If her parents are in the picture (especially if she's under 18 years of age), they also cannot force her to make a specific decision. So the test turned out negative? Your Three Options for an Unplanned Pregnancy. These rash decisions could be avoided if the expectant fathers were brave enough to face the situation and discuss what would be best for all three involved parties. Ask questions in a kind and thoughtful way to find out why she's considering an abortion. We have resources and staff that can help you navigate the process if this is the best option for you. The first thing you should try to do is to show support for your girlfriend (or even ex-girlfriend), because she is probably even more scared than you are. I had an abortion because that's what my boyfriend wanted and I still regret my decision three years on.